Confucius is wise, in fact we'd be much wiser taking his advice. :)

1. Marriage is like game of poker. You start with pair and end with full house.
2. Baseball is wrong. Man with four balls cannot walk.
3. War doesn't determine who is right, only who is left.
4. Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
5. Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
6. Man who run behind car get exhausted.
7. It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.
8. Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs.
9. Man who go to bed with itchy butt wake up with stinky fingers.
10. Elevator smell different to midget.
11. Man who farts in church sits in his own pew.
12. He who eats too many prunes, sits on toilet many moons.