My Dear Husband and I will be celebrating our anniversary soon and it also happens to be my husbands birthday. When I asked DH what he wanted for his birthday/anniversary gift, he didn’t give me the usual “I don’t know.” Oh, no. What he did was crack a sly smile and gave me that look. [Okay, get your head out of the gutter because that’s not what he was implying.] That meant he knew EXACTLY what he wanted and it was going to be a doozie. Now we don’t always get gifts for each other for all the usual gift-giving opportunities. We have more than we need and just don’t usually want anything. So this was going to be big. I knew that he had been hinting about going on a deep sea fishing trip so I figured that was it. I was wrong. Well, not really. He still wants the fishing trip, but (and I quote) “just not for my birthday/anniversary gift.” Which means it’s still on the table for Christmas.
So he wants a new gun. Another gun. One to use specifically for hunting geese. Seriously?
I’m one of those people that don’t really agree with hunting as a sport, but I accept it for what it is. We live in hunting country and it’s a part of life around here. I mean, our ancestors may have “needed” to hunt and kill animals to feed their families, but we really don’t have to do that anymore. The grocery stores and meat markets are chock full of meat ready to cook and at an affordable price. No license needed, no accessories required -unless you include kitchen utensils and cookware accessories. When I bring up this point, my husband tries to debate it by saying that because we would be buying less meat at the store, we are saving animals. Ha! Not really. Those animals are going to end up in the markets whether or not we are hunting for our own food. And since they are already there, it’s better to buy them than go out and kill another. KWIM?
So here’s how our crazy conversation goes:
ME: So how much is this gun going to cost?
DH: It’s only $700.
ME: $700? Is that all?
DH: Yeah, it’s not that bad for a gun.
[Me thinking to myself: That’s your sales pitch? Oh come on. You can do better than that!]
ME: Does that include everything?
DH: Yeah, what else is there?
ME: Ammunition, accessories, etc. There is always more.
DH: Well, yeah, the ammunition is kind of expensive. But I’ll be able to kill geese. They are bigger than ducks so you get more for your money.
ME: But I don’t eat geese. I don’t even know how to cook that.
DH: You use it just like duck. We can make a gumbo, or stew, or…
ME: But I don’t eat duck either! You know that. Have you ever seen me cook anything with duck?
ME: Wait. We already have a bunch of ducks in the freezer taking up space. Geese are much bigger and we just don’t have the room. Which means we will have to buy another freezer to hold all these ducks and geese you are going to be bringing home that I don’t eat, nor know how to cook.
DH: Okay, well, I could give them to my mom.
ME: Well if your mom is going to end up getting them anyway, why not ask her to buy the freezer?
DH: (He has no response to this.)
ME: Let’s see… $700 for the gun, plus $200 for accessories like a gun case and ammo, and another $800 for a freezer. Estimated cost is now at $1700.
ME: That’s a lot of money to spend to hunt an animal that I don’t eat, that will take up space in the new freezer we will have to buy, only to have your mother end up getting the game.
DH: (He has no response to this either. I suspect he realizes he‘s losing ground.)
ME: (having fun with this) So if you get to hunt 10 times during the season, and for each trip you average 2 geese, that will be 20 geese. $1700 divided by 20 comes to $85 per goose. How much does a goose usually weigh? I could figure the price per pound.
DH: (He just stares at me.)
ME: (smiling) Gee, that’s some really expensive geese…
DH: So, what do you think?
I love pulling his leg and he knows it.
And yes, he’s getting his gun. :)
Monday, October 11, 2010
Saturday, October 9, 2010
I Swear It Was Innocent & Unintentional
Our neighbors directly across the street are really nice people.
We tend to be indoor folk that always have too much to do so we probably seem like we are unapproachable. That’s what happens when you’re always trying to keep up with the house and laundry, running the kids to their activities, grocery shopping, etc. But our neighbors appear to have it all together. They spend time with their toddler daughter in the yard playing, they have other friends over on weekends and at night to socialize. They have come over when we had yard sales and they even let me use the phone one morning when my daughter locked my purse and keys in the house. Quiet and clean, they never disturb anyone and they keep their lawn up. What more could you ask for?
Well, there is one little thing. They are Florida Gator fans. And we live in Tiger country.
No, the Tigers aren’t exactly their big rival, nor are the Gators ours. But during football season, they sport Gator flags instead of Tiger flags. They often have friends over on game days and they watch the game in the garage with the door open. Not that I’m being nosey (hey, I’m just getting the mail, okay?) but I can clearly see them watching the Gator game instead of the Tigers. And that’s totally okay.
Today is Saturday -game day- and my youngest daughter wanted to wear her LSU cheerleading outfit. No problem. She wanted to ride her bike this morning so she and her big sister went for a ride. Nothing bad about that right? You would think. And now you know the truth. We really didn’t do anything.
It’s now late in the afternoon -almost game time- and my Dear Husband and I were casually talking about the game when my oldest daughter asked who we were playing. Upon hearing it was the Gators, she commented, “oh, that’s why the neighbor asked if we were watching the game tonight.” I asked her when she had spoken to the neighbor and I find out that it was when they were riding their bikes. They were apparently playing in the yard when my girls went out and my youngest daughter wanted to go over and say high to their toddler. Nothing to it. Until it sank in…
Oh, how that must have looked to them. I mean, our kids rarely go outside to ride their bikes. On a Saturday morning. Before noon. And never in an LSU outfit. Especially when the neighbors are outside. On game day. That would look bad.
It just so happens that they were outside early this morning because my oldest daughter had a friend sleep over and they were playing in the yard while waiting for her parents to pick them up. But if the neighbors didn’t see that, then it would look suspicious.
Around 11:00 am, my 3 yo. comes bounding out the house in her LSU outfit and just so happens to want to ride her bike while the neighbors are in their yard. (seem odd yet?) Then, she just so happens to want to stop and talk to the neighbors toddler and say hi (something she has never really done before). I’m thinking the neighbor must have thought it propped (like we were trying to rub it in or something) because she proceeded to ask my girls if we were going to watch the game and then says that they were definitely watching the Gators tonight.
See? It was totally innocent.
Hey, we know the Gators are an excellent team. They always are and I’ll even admit that they will be difficult to beat. But this here is Tiger country and we support our boys!
Geaux Tigers!!
We tend to be indoor folk that always have too much to do so we probably seem like we are unapproachable. That’s what happens when you’re always trying to keep up with the house and laundry, running the kids to their activities, grocery shopping, etc. But our neighbors appear to have it all together. They spend time with their toddler daughter in the yard playing, they have other friends over on weekends and at night to socialize. They have come over when we had yard sales and they even let me use the phone one morning when my daughter locked my purse and keys in the house. Quiet and clean, they never disturb anyone and they keep their lawn up. What more could you ask for?
Well, there is one little thing. They are Florida Gator fans. And we live in Tiger country.
No, the Tigers aren’t exactly their big rival, nor are the Gators ours. But during football season, they sport Gator flags instead of Tiger flags. They often have friends over on game days and they watch the game in the garage with the door open. Not that I’m being nosey (hey, I’m just getting the mail, okay?) but I can clearly see them watching the Gator game instead of the Tigers. And that’s totally okay.
Today is Saturday -game day- and my youngest daughter wanted to wear her LSU cheerleading outfit. No problem. She wanted to ride her bike this morning so she and her big sister went for a ride. Nothing bad about that right? You would think. And now you know the truth. We really didn’t do anything.
It’s now late in the afternoon -almost game time- and my Dear Husband and I were casually talking about the game when my oldest daughter asked who we were playing. Upon hearing it was the Gators, she commented, “oh, that’s why the neighbor asked if we were watching the game tonight.” I asked her when she had spoken to the neighbor and I find out that it was when they were riding their bikes. They were apparently playing in the yard when my girls went out and my youngest daughter wanted to go over and say high to their toddler. Nothing to it. Until it sank in…
Oh, how that must have looked to them. I mean, our kids rarely go outside to ride their bikes. On a Saturday morning. Before noon. And never in an LSU outfit. Especially when the neighbors are outside. On game day. That would look bad.
It just so happens that they were outside early this morning because my oldest daughter had a friend sleep over and they were playing in the yard while waiting for her parents to pick them up. But if the neighbors didn’t see that, then it would look suspicious.
Around 11:00 am, my 3 yo. comes bounding out the house in her LSU outfit and just so happens to want to ride her bike while the neighbors are in their yard. (seem odd yet?) Then, she just so happens to want to stop and talk to the neighbors toddler and say hi (something she has never really done before). I’m thinking the neighbor must have thought it propped (like we were trying to rub it in or something) because she proceeded to ask my girls if we were going to watch the game and then says that they were definitely watching the Gators tonight.
See? It was totally innocent.
Hey, we know the Gators are an excellent team. They always are and I’ll even admit that they will be difficult to beat. But this here is Tiger country and we support our boys!
Geaux Tigers!!
Goin' Duckin'
My 3yo. is still trying to grasp the English language and it's proving to be quite humorous.
My Dear Husband is a hunter and likes to hunt ducks. DH has been working at the lease on weekends to prepare for the upcoming season. My daughter remembers him bringing home the ducks after the hunts last year and knows what he's doing. I thought she would be a little freaked about it, but after poking a dead duck or two while DH was cleaning them, she announced "Give me the knife Daddy so I can help you." She's totally fine with it. But I digress.
So this morning as DH put on his camo and was getting ready to leave, she begged and pleaded for him to please "take me ducking."
Yep, ducking. She thinks it's as simple as adding an "ing" to the end. As in, fishing. Great logic, huh?
My Dear Husband is a hunter and likes to hunt ducks. DH has been working at the lease on weekends to prepare for the upcoming season. My daughter remembers him bringing home the ducks after the hunts last year and knows what he's doing. I thought she would be a little freaked about it, but after poking a dead duck or two while DH was cleaning them, she announced "Give me the knife Daddy so I can help you." She's totally fine with it. But I digress.
So this morning as DH put on his camo and was getting ready to leave, she begged and pleaded for him to please "take me ducking."
Yep, ducking. She thinks it's as simple as adding an "ing" to the end. As in, fishing. Great logic, huh?
Monday, October 4, 2010
How Bright is Your Light Bulb?
I just finished reading an article that a journalist wrote about the excessive fees that are racked up by people that choose to live without a bank account. There was reference to fees for check cashing, prepaid credit cards, money order, and more. She lived for a month without using her bank account, direct deposit, or credit cards and incurred a whopping $93 in fees. Not only do I find that incredible, but I‘m amazed that the survey she referenced said that 1 in four U.S. households do not have a bank account. But what was more interesting that the article itself, were the Yahoo comments that followed the article.
Sidebar: Just who ARE those people?
They were commenting on the writer’s poor judgment at not shopping around for the best deal on the check cashing service and for picking the wrong prepaid credit cards because there were cheaper ones available. They even touted Wal-Mart as having the best rates on all the services. Then there was the barrage of “it’s the government’s fault” and “the big bankers are getting richer by imposing so many fees that we can’t afford them”. Oh, and my personal favorite said (and I quote directly without editing the punctuation, spelling, or grammar): “im not giving a bank any money by getting account because you never know what they are doing with money and if they will be in business one day to the next.” We are obviously dealing with people that are as bright as a burned light bulb.
Don’t ask me why I was even reading those comments. It's embarrassing, but sometimes I cannot pull myself away from the idiocy of them all as it can be pure comedy and I hate to miss a good laugh. But about halfway through, one poster commented that if you were really careful about taking money from your ATM and where you use your debit card and to only use free checking accounts, you could actually keep from paying such high fees. ?! Umm, yeah. Nothing like setting your sites low.
What about having it all and then some? You know, like having a large supreme pizza instead of just a small cheese. Why not have a free checking account that -get ready for it - PAYS YOU? Yeah, and maybe even a credit card with no annual fees, and a low interest rate. And guess what? If you pay the entire balance in full each month, it’s actually 0% interest!! Woo hoo! And if I shop around enough, I can probably find a card that includes all that plus has cash back benefits and/or earns me some sort of reward. Yes, THEY PAY ME for using my own money to buy the things I need each month. What’s the catch, you ask? Well, there really isn’t one. I only charge what I can afford and never a penny more than I have in the bank. If I do, then I’m on the other side of the fence where I’m no longer earning, but instead it’s costing me on top of what I’m paying. And don’t start whining about not being able to have enough to open an account because of minimum balances and what not. That’s just a bunch of excuses for people who are too lazy to do the research and find out what is available. For instance, right now, at this very moment, one very popular, widely known online bank is offering $50 to anyone who opens one of their free checking accounts and keeps it open for a minimum number of days (I think it’s something like 3 months). As with all accounts, it does have a few requirements, but they are minimal. Like direct deposit (Well, duh. How else are you going to get your money into an online bank?) and a certain number of online bill pays (also free) per month (you gotta pay your rent and utilities anyway, right?). So the question is, why the hell wouldn’t you sign up? They are willing to give you free money to pay your bills with your own money. What’s not to like?
And as for the idiot, err, ignorant person that posted about not knowing what the banks do with your money and whether they will be in business one day to the next. Well, it’s their own ignorance that is keeping them down and forcing them to use the cash system and pay all the exorbitant fees. And for them, I don’t feel sorry -not one teensy bit.
Sidebar: Just who ARE those people?
They were commenting on the writer’s poor judgment at not shopping around for the best deal on the check cashing service and for picking the wrong prepaid credit cards because there were cheaper ones available. They even touted Wal-Mart as having the best rates on all the services. Then there was the barrage of “it’s the government’s fault” and “the big bankers are getting richer by imposing so many fees that we can’t afford them”. Oh, and my personal favorite said (and I quote directly without editing the punctuation, spelling, or grammar): “im not giving a bank any money by getting account because you never know what they are doing with money and if they will be in business one day to the next.” We are obviously dealing with people that are as bright as a burned light bulb.
Don’t ask me why I was even reading those comments. It's embarrassing, but sometimes I cannot pull myself away from the idiocy of them all as it can be pure comedy and I hate to miss a good laugh. But about halfway through, one poster commented that if you were really careful about taking money from your ATM and where you use your debit card and to only use free checking accounts, you could actually keep from paying such high fees. ?! Umm, yeah. Nothing like setting your sites low.
What about having it all and then some? You know, like having a large supreme pizza instead of just a small cheese. Why not have a free checking account that -get ready for it - PAYS YOU? Yeah, and maybe even a credit card with no annual fees, and a low interest rate. And guess what? If you pay the entire balance in full each month, it’s actually 0% interest!! Woo hoo! And if I shop around enough, I can probably find a card that includes all that plus has cash back benefits and/or earns me some sort of reward. Yes, THEY PAY ME for using my own money to buy the things I need each month. What’s the catch, you ask? Well, there really isn’t one. I only charge what I can afford and never a penny more than I have in the bank. If I do, then I’m on the other side of the fence where I’m no longer earning, but instead it’s costing me on top of what I’m paying. And don’t start whining about not being able to have enough to open an account because of minimum balances and what not. That’s just a bunch of excuses for people who are too lazy to do the research and find out what is available. For instance, right now, at this very moment, one very popular, widely known online bank is offering $50 to anyone who opens one of their free checking accounts and keeps it open for a minimum number of days (I think it’s something like 3 months). As with all accounts, it does have a few requirements, but they are minimal. Like direct deposit (Well, duh. How else are you going to get your money into an online bank?) and a certain number of online bill pays (also free) per month (you gotta pay your rent and utilities anyway, right?). So the question is, why the hell wouldn’t you sign up? They are willing to give you free money to pay your bills with your own money. What’s not to like?
And as for the idiot, err, ignorant person that posted about not knowing what the banks do with your money and whether they will be in business one day to the next. Well, it’s their own ignorance that is keeping them down and forcing them to use the cash system and pay all the exorbitant fees. And for them, I don’t feel sorry -not one teensy bit.
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